Sexual Decoder System
Sexual Decoder System by Craig Miller has some hype about it, as apparently some footage of Craig talking to women was too controversial to be shown on TV. Based on what is taught in the product, I find this very hard to believe, as there is nothing controversial mentioned at all.
Whether there was anything too controversial for TV or if this angle has just been used as a marketing tactic is debatable. What’s clear though is that the actual product fails to deliver on what is claimed in the sales video.
Craig constantly mentions the use of a ‘trick’ and how powerful it is to get women into bed. After watching all the videos, I’m still not sure what this trick is. There are also references to other things you’ll learn in the product, but I didn’t see many of these things either. If they exist anywhere in the product, they’re certainly not as powerful as they are claimed to be.
So if you’re considering buying this product based on the promises that you’ll be able to have sex with hot, young women anytime you like, no matter what you look like or even if you have no personality, then realize this isn’t what you’re going to get.
The Average Cute Woman
Throughout the course, which is presented as PowerPoint slides, there is a stock photo used of an attractive woman in her early 20s, used to represent the average woman. They’ve dubbed her ‘Vanessa’, and she’s used to illustrate what life is like for a typical woman like her.
So this is helpful in giving you an insight into the psychology of an attractive woman, if you’ve never stopped to consider things from their point of view. There are ten golden rules that are mentioned and these are all about why women act the way they do.
The things that are talked about here are fairly accurate, if not original. So it’s pretty much pointing out to you that women meet a lot of different guys and they have plenty of options, and are generally looking for an exclusive relationship. It also mentions that she is unlikely to go straight to sex, so this is contradictory to what you were probably hoping to hear based on the sales video.
The product is more realistic in setting expectations of how most interactions will develop. So you might have to take a girl’s phone number and go on a few dates before she is ready to sleep with you.
Indicators of Interest
One of the terms that has been around in the dating community for a long time now is indicators of interest. This refers to any signals women give off that indicate she might be interested in you.
The majority of this product is focused on what these indicators are and how to spot them. These are all pretty much standard things and even people who haven’t studied any dating skills would likely know most of these.
If a woman is making eye contact with you, smiling, standing near you etc. you’re probably going to have a pretty good idea that she is interested in talking to you. There’s some others as well, but nothing that hasn’t been mentioned before in basic body language books or magazine articles.
There are a lot of guys though who do have trouble spotting signs that a woman is interested, particularly if they are subtle. And if you’re a guy who spends too much time in his own head to really notice what other people are communicating, it’s worth making sure you know what to look for to spot the women who are wanting you to approach them.
The goal of this product is to get you to the stage where you can begin sexual relationships with women, so a lot of the focus is also on how to spot signs that a woman wants you to escalate things physically. This could be a woman you’ve just met in a bar or it could be one you’re out on a date with.
One of the modules covers kissing, and how you can tell if she is ready to be kissed. Making a move on a woman can often be one of the biggest causes of anxiety for a guy, and they’ll often need a number of signs from a woman before they go for it.
So the example girl Vanessa is used here again, explaining what’s going on in a woman’s mind when she wants you to escalate. The actual signals to look out for are again pretty basic, but sometimes guys will have trouble spotting them so it’s good to be consciously aware of what to look for.
There is some good information on what to do if she rebuffs your attempt to kiss her. A lot of guys will react emotionally to this, and the only thing that’s going to do is ensure you mess up your chances going forward. Instead, Craig talks about how it’s not really a big deal and what to do so you can try and kiss her again a bit later.
The next module discusses sex, and what the average woman is thinking and wants to feel before she gets sexual. This is pretty traditional stuff, and one of the reasons their claims that their methods are too controversial is somewhat surprising. The signals to look out for that she might be interested in sex are pretty obvious ones, such as her offering to sleep over.
In terms of what to look for if a woman might be interested in having a one night stand, there are a few signals given. Some of them though don’t necessarily mean anything by themselves, such as if she is dressed revealingly, and you’ll need to place them into an overall context to really know if she’s wanting sex that night.
There’s a number of questions given that you can use as part of a ‘one night stand test’. Essentially these are questions about her logistics to find out if she is a good candidate to go home with that night. While the answers to these questions are important in providing you with information on your chances of being able to take her home, you want to make sure you avoid asking them in succession or else it’s obvious what you’re doing and could make her more guarded. You want to slide these questions in so they seem like you are getting to know her rather than trying to find out if she is up for sex.
One of the main themes that runs throughout this product is of avoiding rejection. It tries to show you which women to approach by going for the ones who are giving you signals that they like you.
The problem with this method is that it is quite limiting. For most guys, this is going to mean missing out on meeting a lot of women who might otherwise be attracted to them.
This is because many women often won’t have particularly strong feelings about a guy either way before they actually meet him. They basically feel neutral about you and if this is the case they won’t be sending you any indicators of interest.
But by implementing various dating skills and ideas, you can approach a woman and turn her neutral opinion into a positive one. So in a sense, it’s often more beneficial to just approach the women that you are attracted to, regardless of if they have given you any signals or not.
Part of becoming better with women and socially in general, is risking rejection and confronting it head on. By being overly concerned with waiting for signals to do what it is you want to do, you are basically waiting for permission to act. Women are most often attracted to guys who act because it’s what they want to do, and not because they have already been given approval.
To put it in more concrete terms, I would have missed out on great experiences with countless women if I based my actions solely on their signals. There are women I’ve kissed and slept with who weren’t giving me any positive signals, and in fact were even sending what could have been construed as negative signals.
What you think might be a signal that she’s not interested, could actually just be a sign that she is shy. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and make a move to really know for sure where you stand.
Areas For Improvement
When it comes to the areas of meeting women and attracting them this course is disappointing. Only one example is given of how to approach a woman, and combined with the follow up question you are told to ask, it’s not necessarily the best approach to take. There aren’t really enough examples given that will cover different contexts either.
At one point in the course Craig mentions that covering anything to do with conversation is outside the scope of the course, and to check his other products if you want information on that. We suggest that if you want help in this area, you check out Conversation Escalation: Make Small Talk Sexy.
There’s a few other things that aren’t really great advice. One thing that’s suggested is when asking a woman out, to phrase it as ‘I’d love to take you out sometime, but only if you want to’. This comes across as really weak and unsure of yourself, like you are expecting that she won’t want to go out with you.
Craig also recommends that you lean in when talking to a girl. Of all the body language advice in the dating community, one of the most common you’ll find is that you shouldn’t lean in, so this was kind of strange to see. There’s also a definition of flirting given that somewhat misses the mark, and discounts the fact that you can flirt with a girl without the intended meaning that is given here in this product.
There’s a bonus included that’s about how to attract hot, young girls. In the sales video it’s claimed that it was going to be released as a standalone product, and that it contains a heap of value. In reality it is a nine page ebook that is pretty much worthless.
The gist of it is that hot, young girls have lots of options and know they have a lot of value. And that you’ll stand a better chance with them if you dress fashionably and have some interests in common with them and are a fun guy. Hardly groundbreaking stuff here.
There’s a number of other one page booklets that act as a supplement to the main video course. Overall the quality of these is fairly poor and doesn’t really contain much useful information. There is one that contains a list of ’18 interesting questions’ and these are supposedly questions that you can use to develop an unforgettable conversation. If you want to bore a woman to death then there are some good questions here to help achieve that.
The Bottom Line
Overall this is a pretty basic product, that points out what to look for that might indicate a woman is interested in you. These are all the standard things that always get mentioned, and there is nothing original here at all.
If you’re a guy that is likely to have women find you attractive based on your appearance and presence, but you don’t know what signals to look for, maybe this will be of use to you.
But if you’re looking for a system that focuses on how to meet, attract and hook up with women, you’ll probably find this disappointing. We suggest taking a look at our Editor’s Choice page to get a better idea of what product will best suit your needs.